Have you ever had an experience when you followed what you thought was your intuition and then ended up in a messy situation? And then you wonder, wow, did I really follow my intuition? Why am I here right now?
Yeah, me too.
In fact, it happened recently and I want to share about my journey through the apparent crazy and how it all turned out magnificently.
Just because the “evidence” (all the things that we’re seeing and feeling) makes it seem like things are NOT going in the right direction doesn’t mean they aren’t all working out for the best.
For anyone who has made a major move, you’ll know that it shakes out a lot of stuff.
I’ve been in the midst of a major life transition from living in New England my whole life (almost 3 decades!) to living in Boulder, CO. My boyfriend, Ben, and I also moved in together, so it’s a whole lot of new all at once.
We arrived here in Boulder without an apartment and by a stroke of luck, found what appeared to be a neat housing trade for two women who were in need of support around upcoming back surgeries they were both having.
Ben and I figured it would be a good short-term living situation while we looked for a more permanent place to be. It would give us time to scope out different areas around town and land on a spot that would be the best fit.
I had a major healing shortly after we landed in this apartment (shoutout to Ruby Fremon – she’s amazing, check her out). Ruby was an answer to my prayer to the Universe to help me with my own self doubt and blocks. I did her Release + Reignite session and it helped me to go right to the core of a long time block feeling not worthy.
She helped me shift into and own the feeling “I am worthy”.
I am worthy of all the opportunities this day will bring.
She helped me put together a visualization that I can go through whenever I feel like my cloak of unworthiness is back upon my shoulders.
I clarified my core desired feelings that I can tap into before I say yes to opportunities. My core desired feelings are: Light. Expansive. Enlivened. Spacious. Creative. Curious. Playful. Inspired.
This experience was a catalyst. And all of a sudden, I was in a new place energetically.
Things started to fall apart.
The day after this call with Ruby, the women who Ben and I were in discussion with about a work trade for the apartment space began to get cranky. We had been requesting to sit down and have a conversation to get on the same page about expectations and sign an agreement. This had been going on for about five days. Every time we tried to do this, they rescheduled.
I came back from a yoga class that night to have one of the women get very cranky with me, saying I “didn’t get any work done” even though I had done a few things and she hadn’t made her expectations for the timeline clear.
It escalated on Thursday and even though we had agreed to a 4pm conversation about expectations around the work trade, they cancelled it and got cranky about all the stuff that wasn’t aligned with what they wanted done and how they wanted it done.
Now, in the past, I would have bent over backwards to make everything ok and ameliorate the situation. Make it ok. Soothe the crankiness and take the blame to ease the discomfort.
Not this time.
I am worthy of a living situation that supports my highest and best good. I am worthy to live in a place where I feel safe, loved and inspired.
After Ben asked if we could change the time we were having the conversation and one of the women barked back and swore at him, that was it.
We packed our stuff and got everything out of the basement apartment while they were both home! They didn’t see us remove everything we owned and I prayed the whole time we could do it without an altercation, even though my heart was beating SO hard in my chest.
It was like owning “I am worthy” changed the whole trajectory of my move to Boulder. Something that may have been acceptable to me in the past was now 100% not aligned.
We got out of there.
We packed everything back into my car and left the keys on their dining room table. Peace out.
The power of owning worthiness allowed me to escape a living situation ninja-style to honor my own magical be-ingness.
So there we were…
All our stuff back in my car. Scrambling to find an AirBNB to stay at, unsure of where we would land after being on the road for 5 weeks.
But here’s where it gets good.
As a result of this short housing swap, Ben and I met a roommate. We found an amazing apartment close to bike paths and right by the University. It has amazing views of the Flatirons. We would not have ended up with this opportunity without having gone through that uncomfortable experience.
And this is much better than anything else I could have imagined. I have my time back. I own my schedule again. It feels SO good.
If you ever find yourself in a situation that feels so icky in your body, the physical world gives us so many cues. Listen to them! Get yourself out and trust that the Universe has your back. It totally does.
We all run into crazy things and situations sometimes. It’s important not to take them personally and to allow us to be informed by them to direct our lives in the right direction.
Sometimes when things seem like they’re falling apart, they’re really falling together.
Trust, trust, trust.
Trust timing. Trust weirdness. Trust discomfort. Trust that the path will open.
Keep showing up. Keep following.
You’re held by the Universe. Always.